Dear Gods of Powerball:
We’ve not met. I’ve not bought your tickets, but I am writing you with a proposition. Let’s say, tomorrow I buy a Powerball ticket and get a Big Gulp for kicks. Let’s say you let me win with said ticket and I get Seventy-Five Million dollars cash. You might wonder, Gods of Powerball, “What’s in it for me?” Well, here’s the deal, you let me win, and this is the karmic investment I will make with your money.
1. After taxes, I’ll have what, a third of that left? $25 million, so I will take five million dollars to create an endowment so that web sites like this: In Memory of Kayden are no longer necessary and bereft mommies are no longer burdened with enormous funeral expenses for children they fought to save. Or, Gods of Powerball, just skip the rest and give everything to this woman. If not, read on.
2. That leaves me with $20 million, right? So I will take another ten million to create a second endowment to help parents and young adults pay their medical bills for their congenital heart surgeries and interventions.
3. We’re down to $10 million right? Next, in the fabulous showcase of prizes, instead of the ceramic Dalmation, I will endow $3 million to improve early childhood education in our district so that kids are ready for head start and then ready for kindergarten so that they don’t fall behind.
4. With $7 million left, Pat Sajak, sorry. . . Powerball Gods, I would save some money for my kids, especially the kid who will have long term medical needs that are quite costly.
5. With whatever is left, I will be independently wealthy so I will spend one day a week at the Children’s Hospital volunteering, one day a week at The Ronald McDonald House, and the rest of my time helping with the Children’s Heart Foundation and doing fundraising for Make-A-Wish.
Now, Gods of Power Ball, I realize that it’s possible you might shine brightly on me and I have nothing to show for myself, but don’t worry! I’ll get the scratches on the side of my five year old car repaired and get my carpets cleaned, and that’s all I need.
Deal? I’ll buy my ticket in the morning.