Day 18: Dear New York City, 11 Things You May Not Know About The Rest of America; An Open Letter

Dear New York, I ❤ you and wish I had a t-shirt to express my love with thick black text and a big red heart.  Really, we all love you. I say this with love. Foreign tourists love you; other Americans love you.  Ryan Adams loves you; and everyone loves Ryan Adams, who is  no … More Day 18: Dear New York City, 11 Things You May Not Know About The Rest of America; An Open Letter

Day Nine: Writing to Sell – Cleaning Up Emotional Vomit

When I was in kindergarten there were two lactose intolerant children named Brett and Tammy.  Unfortunately, I started kindergarten in 1979, when lactose intolerance was less believable than demonic possession, at least at my school.  So poor Brett and Tammy were forced every morning to drink their milk.  Then, every morning, Brett or Tammy or … More Day Nine: Writing to Sell – Cleaning Up Emotional Vomit

An Open Letter to Onions

Disambiguation: Onions: Vile yet mysteriously ubiquitous “food” stuff The Onion: America’s Finest News Source This letter is to the former, not the latter. Dear Onions, I don’t like you. You don’t like me.  We’ve never gotten along, and that’s OK.  Yet, after nearly forty years of willfully rejecting you at every turn, you are somehow … More An Open Letter to Onions

An Open Letter to Halloween Costume Designers

Dear People who design Children’s Halloween Costumes, The pumpkins are coming, the pumpkins are coming! Candy corn has replaced school supplies and your costumes have chased out garden hoses in seasonal section of Target. I love autumn. I love Halloween and my memories of dragging a pillowcase door to door to fill with candy.  I … More An Open Letter to Halloween Costume Designers