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The sun will come out tomorrow

Four years ago I wrote this blog post about eleven years prior. Tonight everyone in my house has a cold, except me. Tomorrow, well, tomorrow is the fifteen year anniversary of the flashpoint that initiated  the most most traumatic experiences of my adult life. I started a new job in October. Every morning I drive by the clinic where the events of December 30, 2002 unfolded, and I see the tree that I clung to while the sun was setting. Every night I drive back the same way, but I… Read more The sun will come out tomorrow

Seasons Change

Fifteen years ago this week, I learned I was pregnant for the first time. Fourteen years ago tomorrow, I founded a tiny Yahoo group of women with babies who were one in ten thousand, babies like mine, babies with only half a heart, without a functional right ventricle. Within a few years we incorporated as a nonprofit charity called Hypoplastic Right Hearts. In the last fourteen years we hosted three ground breaking medical conferences hosting cardiologists and surgeons who taught at UCLA, CHLA, Harvard, and Baylor Universities. We hosted panels of… Read more Seasons Change

The Lost Chapter

When I first wrote my book Heart Warriors, A Family Faces Congenital Heart Disease, its working titles was Informed Consent. I revised more than 60 drafts of the book before it was accepted for publication and a few more after that. The book that was published lost several chapters and paragraphs along the way and found new ones. Today is the 27th of April, 2017. The original first chapter of my book took place reflecting on the 27th of April in 2002 and in 2003. Fifteen years ago tonight I… Read more The Lost Chapter

Just Another Day

Late last summer, while anxious and sleep deprived, my doctor asked me if there were any anniversaries of traumatic events I was remembering. I half laughed, it seems there is always a traumatic event to remember. I told her which one correlated with that time of year. However, I’d not been ruminating or brooding on it as I tended to do in the past. In fact, I’ve spent the last seven years since I started writing my first book working on healing and strenuously moving through the past into the… Read more Just Another Day

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

If you are like millions upon millions of people and like me, you might have heard the name Kitty Genovese in a psychology or sociology class. You might have read her case study where supposedly 38 human beings passively witnessed her murder in Queens in 1964. It was a watershed moment in America, so when I passed by a book with her name and photograph on the cover this weekend, I checked it out from the library. I devoured it in less than 12 hours. This book, by Kevin Cook,… Read more Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

grown up twelve

My daughter turns twelve tomorrow. Today I went to a jewelry store with a silver charm that I received for my own twelfth birthday. The jeweler cleaned the charm and placed it on a new silver chain. The charm is round and reads “Grown Up Twelve.” But I was not a grown up at twelve and neither is my daughter. She may stop growing soon, like I did when I was ten, but we were both still little girls at twelve, despite looking like women well before our time. This… Read more grown up twelve

At a Loss for Words

Aphasia  from ancient Greek ἀφασία (ἄφατος, ἀ- + φημί), “speechlessness”[1]) is an impairment of language ability. This class of language disorder ranges from having difficulty remembering words to being completely unable to speak, read, or write.  ~ Wikipedia My first migraine occurred at age seven. Sobbing made it worse, so I was still, for days. By fourteen migraine visited every twenty-eight days until contraceptives regulated my hormones. On the pill migraines vanished for a year but returned with aphasia. The first time I lost my words I laughed.  It didn’t last, then the pain… Read more At a Loss for Words

The Fault in Our Hearts

I’ve never read The Hunger Games, or The Fault in Our Stars. It’s not that I’m dismissive of young adult (YA) literature, it’s just not my thing. I also don’t read westerns, mysteries, science fiction, or most fantasy,  but I do read the news and couldn’t miss the frenzy over The Fault in Our Stars film and author John Green.  I was curious about the title because I’d read that it was from a Shakespeare play, so I looked it up. The source quote is from Julius Caesar and about… Read more The Fault in Our Hearts