Dear Feisty Feline Friend,

First, let me say how much my family and I appreciate how quickly you dispatched that mouse that fell in my window well back in September.  You’re our own personal Seal Team Six, and we invite you to dine in our backyard on any pigeons, mice, or squirrels you like, but please take your leftovers home with you.

I’m writing you today, my rotund friend, to ask that you discontinue using my flower beds as a toilet.  Today, as I planted marigolds and snapdragons, I happened upon some of your artifacts.  While your prowess as a hunter is honored, we’d appreciate if you returned home to your litter box to deposit your excesses.  It makes for a most unpleasant Mothers’ Day to find myself digging in your special place.

Otherwise, please visit often and keep those naughty squirrels in check.  Also, if you happen upon the raccoon that’s been trying to get into our  attic, if you would kindly tell him to move on, we’d appreciate that as well.

Meowfully,

Your Neighbors in the Blue House