Thursday, February 20, 2014:

4:30 am: Woke up from a dream that began with me taking graduate classes in a Safeway store on Easter, getting into my car to drive home, and having no breaks, despite pulling the emergency brake backward.

4:32 am: Fell back asleep.

6:20 am: Silently cursed my cell phone/alarm clock as I stabbed the snooze button

6:29 am: When the second alarm goes off, whine to Sunny Morning Jim who is already showered and dressed that I hate mornings . . . after 22 years, he kind of knows this.

6:35: Scramble to my computer, boot it up, go to the Keurig God to beg for coffee, add cream. Make a bowl of cereal.

6:45: read email

6:50: review calendar – gasp because I forgot I have to go onsite for a 9am meeting and my head is one big cowlick.

6:55: prepare to login to first International Conference Call

6:59: Join conference call on mute, watch slides, take notes, crunch loudly – double check the mute button. Multitask, finishing email reading and responding to urgent-ish messages.

7:25: Gasp with relief when con call ends early! I can brush my hair!!!

7:30: get waylaid by 9 y/o daughter who needs her hair tamed.

7:35: Wet brush my bushy hair into  a submissive, yet sleek ponytail.

7:40: Get dressed in clean clothes and apply makeup as part of the endless cycle of adult acne two months shy of my fortieth birthday – silently curse adult acne.

7:50: Back to work, prepare for next conference call.

8:00: Second international conference call, get disconnected twice (not normal), take notes, let poor man in India go – it’s 10pm there when we’re done.

8:20 spent 15 minutes cursing while looking for my access  badge before driving to work.

8:40: arrive at work and smile that I live 5 minutes from the office.

8:45: boot up my computer and debate if I have enough time to get coffee . . . I do not.

9:00: have productive face-to-face meeting

10:00: Choose which of three conference calls I will join. Call runs over, but is productive.

10:55: Realize the coffee counter closes in five minutes and I’m SOL, go to cafeteria and get cheeseburger and tater-tots instead. . . mmmmm tots!

11:25: Run into old friend heading back to desk. Talk and walk. Check email, write email, deflect email.

12:00 more conference calls

12:30: more email authorship

1:00: Remember thing from 8:00 am meeting I was supposed to do and take care of it

2:00: pm unplanned conference call to finish taking care of the thing from 8:00 am.

3:00 picked up kids and husband from school (+1 unplanned play date)

3:15 Log back into computer at home, work on project management stuff, field Instant Message, and return email until 5:15

5:15 Watch Full House parody on YouTube posted to facebook by brother-in-law and note the extraordinary amount of saxophone in late 80s television, because it’s important.

5:30: play hide&seek w/ 9&10 year olds

6:00: eat yummy ham and homemade mashed potato dinner prepared by delicious husband

6:25: Drive home son’s play date whose aunt is at the hospital having a baby, require directions from 10 year old.

6:30-35: Get lost in my own neighborhood on way back from little boys’ house

7:00: participate in scolding ten-year old for hiding unfinished homework assignments, email 10 y/o 5th grade teacher to request meet up and a form I need to enroll soon-to-be 11 y/o in middle school, participate in much parental eye rolling, send 10 y/o to shower.

7:30: Run around the yard like a crazy person with the GoldenDoodle, start hacking because it’s freaking cold outside. Abandon crazier dog outside until I trick him inside by pretending a scented candle is a snack jar, and laugh that golden doodle needs hair cut and can’t tell the difference between candle and milk-bones. Dog reminds me that it took me 15 minutes to find my access badge hiding in plain sight and how many times I used the F-word 11 hours ago looking for not-lost lost badge when no one else was home.  Humbled by dog.

8:00: Reiterate to 10 y/o why hiding unfinished work and bad grades is not a good idea while snoopy/gloaty 9 y/o is in the shower.

8:30: Read chapter of library book to children on couch, because it’s important.

8:55: Get kids to bed with hugs and kisses

9:00: post random comments about the autonomy of women and the equity of work-life-balance and the perfection of ham-cooking-husband on Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook page – FACE!

9:20: Decide to write this post

9:30: Finish my wine, get a glass of water

9:40: Pull out the laptop and write this post

9:53: Finish, post, head for shower . . . I have another international conference call at 7:00 am and my kids participate in Battle of the Books at 8:00 am tomorrow.

I hope to work on my book some more over the weekend.

This is how my day usually goes.