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Category: Open Letters (Fun)

Open Letters – A Postscript to My Neighbor’s Cat

Dear TDC, I asked you nicely to stop pooping in my flower beds.  I’ve given you a year+ to cease and desist, and yet. . . I’m writing you to let you know that the next time you visit your toilet, AKA my yard, you will find chicken wire beneath the newly placed mulch.  I’ve also put down “cat repellent” that smells an awful lot like pepper spray + coyote urine, and yet, and yet it still smells better than your parting gifts. Please take the hint and fail to… Read more Open Letters – A Postscript to My Neighbor’s Cat

An Open Letter to My Former Neighbors

Dear people who moved away, Boy, am I glad you’re gone.  For years I watched you hand feed squirrels on the fence we shared.  For years I had to instill a deathly fear of squirrels in my petless toddler children who thought these squirrels were so cute.  My kids became preschoolers who became gradeschoolers while you hand fed  generation after generation of wild animals that then came into my yard expecting similar treatment from my family. Now that you have been gone for a year, the squirrels seem less aggressive.… Read more An Open Letter to My Former Neighbors

An Open Postscript to the Gods of Powerball

Dear Gods of Powerball: I’m so sorry! I was busy working, then I had to do Friday folders on Wednesday at lunch because there is no school the rest of the week, THEN I worked the book fair at school.  I was so busy helping out today that I did not buy my Powerball ticket, so if you would kindly hold the jackpot for my until Saturday, I promise to get my ticket tomorrow.  They won’t let me buy one right now because I missed the cut off by 13… Read more An Open Postscript to the Gods of Powerball